Catwmen of the Moon (1953)

A crew of astronauts-Laird, Helen, Kip, and Doug-are sent to explore the Dark Side of the Moon. Helen, the ship's navigator, is able to precisely predict the best spot to land, much to her own astonishment. Anyway, the astronauts quickly find a mysterious cave with oxygen, along with giant spiders and a lost civilization of telepathic women who quickly seduce the male crew and brainwash Betty, who has a mysterious connection to the race of moon-dwellers. The sexy aliens' goal? Why, to take over the minds of all the men on Earth, of course!

There's an underappreciated small sub-genre in sci-fi/fantasy cinema that I'll call "the Amazon genre." These films feature a group of men (usually prominent in their own society) who discover or stumble upon a lost civilization either dominated or completely populated by women. This civilization is any or all of three things: 1) utopian in a sense, but also in another sense totalitarian; 2) filled with hatred or a lack of need for men; and 3) lacking an "essential" understanding of the concept of "Love." The men are seduced into this society by the sexual qualities of its citizens, the society's superficial utopian qualities, or both, but of course in some way they are in danger since these women are "misled" and lack "morality." Usually one of the females begins to explore the alien concept of "love" with one of the males, and eventually renounces her "immoral" ways and betrays her own people (some morality). And I just realized by describing the Amazon genre I also pretty much described this entire movie.

Of course, Catwomen of the Moon isn't just typical of the Amazon genre, but of most B-list '50s sci-fi. There's lots of fuzzy science, acting so wooden millions of termites could thrive off of it, and none-too-subliminal messages. Now, what makes this movie so damn special? Well, for one thing, we have '50s sex icon, the luscious Marie Windsor. Unfortunately, she spends pretty much the entire film in a work shirt and, when she's not interacting with her crew or fighting off mutated arachnids, she's getting brainwashed by evil moon-women, so some would say she's been tragically miscast. Still, even Windsor's most rabid fan (you are out there, aren't you?) should get enough of her to be satisfied.

As for the title characters, well, I'm sorry, but there's a bit of false advertising there. Outside of black leather outfits and a very vague feline-y appearance, they're not really "catwomen"...actually, they're never even referred to as such. But they're still rather interesting, particularly when they engage in the patented Catwoman Dance which is accompanied by some of the most surreal music I've heard in a film predating the '60s.

Anyway, in the last 15 or so minutes the film wraps up by showing that it is possible to kill immediately by slowly lowering a knife into someone's back and slapping someone with a small rock in the palm of your hand, predictably ending the atrocious Doug-Lambda relationship, and by trying to break the record for Most Anti-Climatic Ending by vanquishing the villains in under a minute...off-screen, no less! This is still one of my favorite movies of this type, but I only recommend it for those familiar with the ways of '50s B-sci-fi.

But everyone should at least pick it up to see the sight of Mary Windsor grappling with a huge rubber spider...


Choice Quotes

"I love you, Doug, and I must kill you!"

"I love you too Lambda, and I'm not afraid."

-Doug and Lambda, and yes this is typical of their dialogues.

Marie Windsor, in my opionion, goes without saying...besides, outside of her fans its most likely no one will recognize the films she's been in...

William Phipps (Doug) did the narration for David Lynch's Dune and played Wash in 1953's War of the Worlds, made in the same year as Catwomen of the Moon!

Carol Brewster (Alpha) had an uncredited role as Claudia Comfort in Rosemary's Baby.