Deadtime Stories (a.k.a. Freaky Fairy Tales) (1986)

The horror anthology, after a very long and distinguished history in both its film and television incarnations, has nowadays mostly become a staple for microbudget and independent filmmakers, in no small part because the genre typically demands only a few sets and a handful of actors. While the genre kept marching on television until relatively recent years (“Tales From the Crypt” lasted until 1996) and reruns of “Crypt” and “Tales from the Darkside” are still shown fairly regularly on the Sci-Fi Channel (as of this writing), the horror anthology as a mainstream film form hasn't really survived since the end of the 1980s. Even the flawed but entertaining Tales From The Darkside: The Movie, which came out in 1990, felt like an exercise in self-indulgent nostalgia, like a present day old-fashioned, no-surprises Western or a slasher film that isn't infused with postmodern, audience-winking irony. Nonetheless, while the 1970s cooked up the best known samples of the genre (Tales from the Crypt, The Vault of Horror, and Amicus Productions' own ambitious entry, The House That Dripped Blood, come to mind), it did manage to flourish in the 1980s along with other species of the horror film, from big-name releases like the two Creepshow films to straight-to-VHS flicks like today's subject.

Deadtime Stories is an obscure entry in the genre, which can only be found in its native environment of mom-and-pop rental stores. In the requisite framing sequence, we meet Mike, who has to tell bedtime stories to his nephew when he just wants to get away and watch T&A (offered up by the “Miss Nude USA Beauty Pageant”) on TV. Mike, not one to shelter tykes from the grim realities of life, ostensibly tells familiar fairy tales with horror tropes. Like it or not, though, it turns out that only one of the three stories in the film is true to that idea. In fact, the first story is an original fairy tale (or at least as far as I can tell) about a young man named Peter who was sold as a slave to two witches. Peter has actually settled in comfortably to the role of witches' lackey, but when they start working on a “recipe” that will resurrect their dead sister, Peter balks at the fact that the ingredients require several human sacrifices, in particular the sacrifice of a friendly young woman. The second is a clever but predictable modernization of “Little Red Riding Hood”, involving a sexy teenager jogger, her horny boyfriend, a bottle of pills she has to deliver to Grandma, and a werewolf who needs prescription tranquilizers to suppress his “illness.” Last - and the most amusing of the three shorts - is a bizarre little yarn about a family of sociopaths, “the Baers,” who try to hide out from authorities in their old family home, only to find that a telekinetic serial killer, Goldi Loks, was squatting there while the family was confined to an asylum. In a break with the traditional story, the Baers decide to adopt Goldi Loks as their daughter (which adds an even more disturbing layer to her “intimacy” with Baby Bear) and make her a full-fledged part of their homicidal family.

Of course, Deadtime Stories falls into the same ruts as most of the better and far more well-known horror anthologies by offering a mixed bag of stories. As mentioned above, the three stories are not nearly as cohesive as the set-up would have you believe. Even though the last segment is a modernization of an iconic fairy tale injected with horror, like the second, its ties to the “Goldilocks” story are loose and are more or less jettisoned entirely. What does keep Deadtime Stories together is that it's a refreshingly straightforward film, at least in that it keeps up an irreverent tone that hits a crescendo once we get to the hilariously surreal “Goldilocks” story. It's a movie that only wants to be fun, a rarity in this age of “shocking” and “message-driven” smalltime cinema.

So the question is, does it succeed? Not entirely. The first segment falls miles short of its intention to recapture the grisly spirit of the original versions of European fairy tales and quickly starts to look like an exercise in padding. The “Little Red Riding Hood” story is knocked down a few pegs by some poor acting even by the standards of straight-to-video films, but it manages to be interesting just by showing how a very familiar story can be easily reworked as a modern genre piece. Plus, while someone in Newark can see the ending coming from New York, it's done well and still fun to see it realized. But, as you noticed if you were paying attention, I firmly believe the highlight is “Goldilocks,” from the basic “reimagining” of the Three Bears as a family of notorious, mentally ill criminals to Goldi Locks cheerfully exclaiming to her adopted family, “And you're just like the parents I brutally slaughtered!”

The movie's gotten more attention on the Internet than one might expect, probably because it's been given a second life on DVD. Even then it's very unlikely it will ever be remembered as a lost cult gem, in spite of the glimpses of genius in the kinetic final story. Still, I think a large slice of Deadtime Stories's charm comes from the fact that it really only wants to be a decent Friday night rental.

Memorable Quotes

Mike: Once upon a time, there was a little girl named "Rachel." Actually, she wasn't all that little. She was a hot-looking high school senior with deep blue eyes, and fine, firm breasts and...

Brian: That's not the way Mom tells it!

Mike: Shut up. That's the way I tell it.