Hercules Unchained (a.k.a Ercole e la Regina di Lidia/Hercules and the Queen of Lydia)(1959)

Somewhat directly after the events in the prequel Le Fatiche di Ercole (The Labors of Hercules), Hercules travels to Thebes with his wife Iole and the future hero Ulysses, only to find the country at the brink of civil war. Sent on a diplomatic mission that will hopefully prevent this, Hercules is sidetracked by a cursed drinking fountain that causes him to lose his memory and puts him in the hands of the Queen of Lydia, a sorceress who seduces men and turns them into stone when tired of them. Meanwhile, Iole is put in growing mortal danger by the political unrest in Thebes...

Before I start, I should say that this review can also be pretty much applied to the prequel Le Fatiche di Ercole. Both movies have Steve Reeves, which will probably be the only reason most people will bother hunting either film down, as well as a lot of the same central cast; both suffer from the same basic problems, including the fact that Hercules himself is barely involved in most of the plot; and both have the same plot structure, which is basically just a string of extended fight scenes that tries desperately to be a plot, and succeeds, but only if you can take on the idea of a plot being an abstract, almost non-entity.

The main advantage-if not the only advantage-this movie has over its prequel is the higher budget. The action scenes, although still suffering from some crippling hockiness, show signs of more money being pumped into them, which is always a good thing, particularly considering the infamous "lion wrestling" scene from Le Fatiche di Ercole.

As for the cast, Steve Reeves is...well, Steve Reeves, basically. He does get a few good moments, including a chance to grapple with real-life Italian wrestler Primo Carnera. We also have Gabrielle Antonini as the young Ulysses, who does the Annoying Sidekick thing as well as can be expected. At last, there's the sulty Sylvia Lopez as the Queen of Lydia herself. Although Mrs. Lopez's character isn't very well grounded in mythology-she seems to be an odd combination of Medusa, Circe, and Queen Dido-she is the most interesting character the movie's otherwise generic plot has to offer. Certainly her teeth, which are so terrifyingly shiny one can't help but wonder if she puts a sander to the damn things, alone can attract attention. About halfway through the movie, unfortunately, the Queen of Lydia kills herself once Hercules escapes her clutches, which proves once and for all that sex with Steve Reeves was indeed the end-all of human sexual experience.

After the rescue/escape of Hercules from a fate most straight males who watch this will kill for (despite the ultimate fate of the Queen of Lydia's lovers, I couldn't help but think of the scene from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail where Galahad is "rescued" from Zoot's nunnery), the plot-as weak as it was-kind of collapses and spills all over the floor. To be honest, I couldn't tell you what the hell happens next, except it culminates in the required colisseum fights and a huge but pointless battle involving chariots and lots of extras and the knocking over of things. Despite the plot confusion and other problems, this is still a distracting offering for fans of "sword and sandle" films and Steve Reeves. If you've never been exposed to either, this will at least make for a good testing ground.


Scenes To See:-

Any scene where the characters engage in casual conversaton. I haven't heard that much forced laughter outside of the laugh track for a CBS sitcom

Steve Reeves kind of goes without saying, and everyone else seems to just be known within Italian cinema, and since I don't know that much about Italian cinema outside of exploitation and horror flicks and Roberto Rossilini, I can't help there.