Hitler's Daughter (1990)

An international conspiracy seeks to make Hitler's daughter, born in secret, President of the United States, in order to bring about the Fourth Reich. The only one alive with the information to expose the conspiracy is Clark K-er, Ted Scott, an all-American reporter. Unfortunately for him, three ambitious, powerful women all match the criteria for being Hitler's daughter.

Sad to say, I wasn't able to give this film all the attention it clearly deserved. I couldn't help but obsess over the main protagonist's bizarre resemblence to Clark Kent/Superman (he even had the freaking glasses most of the time), so I spent much of the running time jumping in with quips like, "This sounds like a villainous plot by Lex Luthor!" or "Aw man, I wonder if Lois could be Hitler's daughter after all." Yes, MST3K I ain't....

Regardless, I did take notice of the plot, which is tragically just your run-of-the-mill "Good guy and a few associates know the deep dark secret so big bad conspiracy will do anything to silence them." There's plenty of intrigue, car bombs, men in black, and traced phone calls to go around. What's interesting about this one is how amazingly bleak it all is, especially for a made-for-TV movie. I actually don't want to give too much away (translate that as if you're actually planning to see this thing skip to the next paragraph), but the good guys pretty much all die and, well, let's just say some people might want to invest in "Hey, don't blame me, I didn't vote for Hitler's daughter!" bumperstickers.

Another interesting thing is the very strange fact this movie exists and is presented in the straight-faced way it is. Despite the tabloid-esque premise, everything in this film is presented as if it possessed a "serious" plot about terrorists or crime cartels, not the inherently sinister offspring of Hitler. Sure, there's a couple of characters who scoff at the concept of a Nazi conspiracy secreting Hitler's illegitimate child to the U.S and raising her to establish the Fourth Reich, but pretty much everyone quickly buys into it. When the doomed Nazi hunter Dr. Beuman first gives Ted the information about the conspiracy, he explains the situation utterly without a drop of irony or dark humor. It's also a testimony to the power of the Hitler mythos, which has existed strongly since even before America knew (or, more accurately, was made aware, but that's another thing entirely) of the Holocaust, although perhaps the fact that this is a low-budget made-for-TV flick kind of works against that.

This brings me to a major flaw in the film: it really isn't a film about Hitler's Daughter, at least through out most of the movie, but rather about who is Hitler's daughter. The three suspects include Mary Lipscomb, a reporter (who is played by the same person who plays Ted Scott's girlfriend Sharon) who is sleeping with Vice President Rutledge Gordon supposedly for the sake of gaining political influence; Leona Gordon, the wife of Rutledge Gordon who only married him for the sake of gaining political influence (a la Hilary Clinton) and honestly may as well have Red Herring tattooed to her forehead; and Patricia Benedict, who may as well have Hitler's Daughter tattooed to her forehead (oops, gave too much away there.)

Despite the odd, campy title, there is no off-beat enjoyment here, not even a dose of campy irony. Instead you have a pretty run-of-the-mill made for TV thriller. Curiously enough, it is based on a novel, which I'm sure is superior in every important respect to the film...