Missile To The Moon (1959)

Military scientist Dirk Greene finally completes a rocket destined to head to the moon. While he's convinced his superiors that the rocket was built for them, he really intends to fly it himself, and finds aid by forcing two escaped convicts Lon and Gary to help fly his vehicle for him. Unfortunately, Greene's partner, Steve, and his girlfriend June unwittingly tag aong. Along the way to the moon, Greene is accidently killed, and dies telling Steve to carry on his mission and giving him exact coordinates to land on. Much to the surprise of Steve and his ragtag crew, they find a cave with oxygen and a dying civilization filled with only sexy, telepathic women...

They remade Cat-Women of the Moon.

Now, to some people that statement would be the equivalent of "They cloned Adolf Hitler." I rather liked Cat-Women of the Moon; sure, it was cheesy and badly made on so many levels, but it was rarely (in my opinion) boring. Missile to the Moon is, on the other hand....cheesy and badly made on so many levels. There's been a lot of improvements in film making (even for B-movies) since Catwomen of the Moon, and the plot-or what plot there is-has been fleshed out, while keeping pretty much all of the elements from the last film (including the much loved giant spider.)

The biggest change is with the Women Formerly Known As Cat-Women themselves. This time, a woman known as the Lido (not libido unfortunately) rules these fiesty telepaths, distinguished only by the chandelier-like crown he wears, in a lost civilization that even more strongly resembles some quasi-Indian society than the one in the original. Alpha, who was the leader surpreme in the original is back too, but this time we know she's evil, because she's got a German accent. Alpha eventually challenges the Lido to the throne of the WFKAC; a challenge that amounts to a telepathic battle, which amounts to the two women staring at each other goofily.

As with the last film, Alpha (and before her overthrow the Lido) plots to take over the Earth for the benefit of their own civilization. In the original, the whole explanation about what happened to the civilization is barely mentioned. In Missle to the Moon, the Lido says something to the effect of "The tale of our civilization's decline and fall is long and tragic....but it can wait until later!" Of course, it's never mentioned again.

The crew features the whitebread, all-American military man and the whitebread, all-American woman (who basically lacks both brain and spine) along with two felons, one of whom is unredemable and the other an already redeemed whimp. This is, believe it or not, an improvement over the original Cat-Women, where our heroic crew could be basically summed up by Generic White Guy #1, #2, #3, and Generic White Woman. Besides the Lido , Alpha, and their fellow sultry telepaths, the crew also runs into giant rock men. We also get to see one of the crew members (the asshole, unsurprisingly) get barbequed by the sun, much like an ant under a magnifying glass. (I don't even know the pseudo-science here, but apparently the sun's heat for some reason gets concentrated on the moon in a three-mile radius. I think I'm more willing to buy into the rockman concept.)

The movie coems to a dramatic conclusion when, like the original, one of the WFKAC , who is stupidly and inexplicably in love iwth one of the crew members, betrays her people. This time, though, she takes things a few steps further than her predecessor in the original; she actually releases all the oxygen from the cave the WFKAC inhabit! (it seems a bit odd to me that there'd be a convenient device for that exact purpose within reach, but what do I know about the ways of moon women?) To be fair, this is actually a pretty nifty scene. Air flies everwhere while Alpha, in her thickest German accent, telepathically calls our Hero Steve back to ground zero. Sadly, Steve overcomes her siren call, the crew elude the rockmen a second time, the jerk gets barbequed in part for his Un-American greed, they all get home safely, yadda yadda yadda.

All in all, one of the more entertaining 50s sci-fi films you can find, with, like the original, plenty of pseudo-science, weirdness, and cheesy acting to keep one sufficiently entertained. Now, to wait and see if there's a James Cameron remake of this in 2002....