Orgy of the Dead (1965)

Well, you see, every night at the full moon the Lord of the Dead (or something) and his consort the Queen of Ghouls (or something) get together and force the sexy recently departed to strip and engage in a variety of dances. The punishment for failing to arouse the interest of the Lord of the Dead? Eternal damnation, of course! (And you thought traditional Christian doctrine was harsh.) Unfortunately, this particular evening an unlucky young couple has crashed their car near the latest gathering point....

And no, I am not making this up.

Comments:

Nathan Shumate once reviewed this alleged "masterpiece of erotic horror" and found it literally unfinishable. Of course, when I found this "gem" at Cleary's (sitting between a copy of Mondo Cane and a shoddy documentary on the Reign of Terror, no less) I couldn't help but scoff at Nathan's weakness and pick up the fallen gauntlet, declaring those fatal last words, "It can't be that bad!"

Ah but it was, and yet, I didn't quite have the heart to loath it completely. Why? I'll get to that eventually.

Besides being written by Ed Wood (and supposedly being based on a novel by him, which is astonishing; I mean, this movie has less of a plot than 2069: A Sex Odyssey!), it also stars the Amazing Criswell, best known as the narrator of Ed Wood's magnum opus Plan 9 From Outer Space. Criswell not only narrates, solemnly warning viewers of ghoul orgies on full moon nights, he also plays the Lord of the Dead, whose power is only limited by the visibility of his cue cards! Yes, Criswell's performance is horrible in almost every sense of the word, but he still brings a twisted sense of dignity to the role, a dignity Wood fans will remember best being expressed by most of the leading actors in Plan 9 From Outer Space and Glen or Glenda. Fawn Silver gets into the act too, although her monologues aren't nearly as ludicrous as Criswell's, but her dialogue sometimes comes very close. Unfortunately, the same can't be said of the two who play the unlucky couple. Both, particularly William Bates who plays "Bill," fail to get the joke and simply come across as bad, very bad. So far, though, my review hasn't done this movie any justice. It's implied that this is entirely a coherent film with an extended plot, lots of dialogue, and character interaction. This is not the case. We also have lots of bad softcore 60s porn that doesn't necessarily interrupt the plot. Instead, the plot interrupts it. That's right, we have lots and lots of very bad "theme" dancing interrupted only occasionally to push the plot along a centimeter or so.

Now, I admit that I find the premise amusing. Dead souls forced to dance topless for some horny ghouls to get to their own individual paradises? It raises quite a few interesting theological questions, such as what happens to all the ugly souls, or all the male souls for that matter? But really there's only so much crappy dancing, even if it is topless, a human being can stand, and at least even some "Skinemax" fare tries to integrate T&A with plot advancement...well, occasionally. Now, all that said, why didn't I eject it from the VCR without hestiation? Well, like I said, although this movie can't stand up to the Ed Wood classics, it does have a certain charm to it that comes mainly from Criswell's...um, "intriguing" performance. There's also the little touches, like the two bungling henchmen (who just also happen to be blatant rip-offs of Universal Studio's Wolf-Man and Mummy) who try desperately to reach the "zero point" of acting ability and the fact that the camera often goes from a wide day shot right to a close up that clearly is supposed to take place at night, a classic Wood motif. It was these little points of light that helped me through the film (well, that and the fact I played a Lords of Acid album during the dance scenes, which created quite a surreal but somewhat appropriate experience) and saved it for me. Of course, as with most dire products of cinema, this will be best served in a group setting with at least a fairly high average of pain tolerance on.


Choice Quotes

"To love the cat is to be the cat!"

The Queen of the Ghouls describing a catwoman dance (I tell you, Zen Buddhism ain't got nothing on Ed Wood)

"Torture! Torture! It pleasures me!"

The Amazing Criswell....you just have to hear it to appreciate it, believe me.